Bearing it all or NOT?


The day that I got asked to participate in a book about love and sex, my first reaction was excitement. I started writing not so long ago and it’s something that I really enjoy and passionate about.  This opportunity came at a right time for me to practice further, to tell my stories and my thoughts the best way I know how.

When the South African young writer, who wrote an erotic novel, traveled overseas to educate herself about the benefits of sexual liberation asks you if you would be keen to participate in her next book, after the excitement my quick response was yes yes yes before even getting the full details.

I waited for information in anticipation and the moment I received the questions I was like whoa. Let me let you in what I was asked to write about for this coffee table book

Questions and sub-questions as guidelines.

  1. Do you remember your first time? was it planned and romantic? was it for love/pressure from the guy or because your body wanted it? would you have waited or done it anyway?
  2. Tell me about the best sex you’ve had? was it emotional or physical? what makes it the best?
  3. Do you enjoy sex? will you have it out of relationships? is it a duty you feel obligated to for the sake of the relationship? Or a pleasure you enjoy and are entitled to?
  4. What is your connection between sex and love? is the act an extension of your emotions? have you or do you give sex in the hopes that love will grow? Or do you wait for love before having sex

Need I say more! The questions got me thinking but I followed my heart and my interest in writing and participating.

Big question do I bear it all or NOT??


Do I want to remember my first time, just as I started writing emotions came rushing in as if opened a grave that I even forgot that it existed,  the more I continued other people came to mind, I wondered if I tell my story is my story alone or theirs too?  To answer that I had to reach out to some people who knew me more than myself and they were the intimate part of my life sexually and otherwise.

This exercise opened up the sexual liberation that I never owned as my own but just as my love, life and sex and nothing more. Then the next reason for wanting to participate in this book became more evident.

As I continued to write the next question is my story worth telling, is a story that I would like my daughters to read one day or not. Will I look back and wish I never said yes. I remembered the movie Titanic, not the storyline the love but the older Rose telling the story and her remembering meeting Jack falling in love the moments shared and this was my experience when I was writing as I was remembering the bittersweet moments of my life and sex encounters.

Now I am writing about the whole experience which is exciting, I am hoping that the stories I chose to write about would be a great read and it will open up more opportunities for me to write and maybe even get me to be motivated to write my own book “My so-called life”