My journey of self discovery!

Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble in dread before them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not fail you or abandon you.”


43 Lessons/Thoughts On My 43rd Birthday

I was thinking of 43 ways to celebrate my birthday this year. As I was going through ideas..thinking of giving 43 hugs to random strangers, but I am not brave anymore, and it might not be anything that is fullfillng but just fun, I wish I have thought of all this sooner. 43 acts of kindness 😎 that would have been the greatest and “worth it” meaningful birthday shared… (Purpose driven day) if had people to help me with executing such actually it would have been an inspirational birthday.

11 April 2018

Let me start with simple life thoughts & lessons…..


Let’st’s go with that, shall we? here we go…

1. Your 40s will be your best decade yet. You know your who you are and have figured out a lot of things for yourself and to hell with what everyone thinks.
2. Your body is a wonderland. Even though some days your mind will tell you otherwise. Just tell it to shut the eff up. Be happy and ok with how you look if not just do something about #nopressure
3. Keep moving. Literally and figuratively.
4. Pamper yourself monthly be it massage, nails, wax etc
5. Check in with yourself, question your existence and try to fullfill your purpose #small things do matter
6. Take care of your face give it extra care.
7. Prettify thyself lol…I had my first natural lashes Feb 2018 & I felt so pretty
8. Social media can be your happy land. Just make sure to tune out and log out. It’s ok not to share everything with BFF Facebook since you have less friends or non that you speak to daily…..or boost your ego somehow
9. The Universe will hit you with the same lessons over and over until you’ve learnt them.
10. Have at least one friend you can WhatsApp anytime of the day or call
11. The best things in life are free. They really are.
12. Your children needs time with you, play, talk bond not TV and cellphones all the time. Enforce them try shut down yourself. Monkey see, monkey do.
13. The older you get, the less BS you’re willing to put up with.
14. Hydrate yourself with lots of water
15. Drink green tea, now and again. It helps with digestion.
16. Get that red lipstick and wear it like it’s the roaring 20s.
17. Listen to more music.
18. Subscribe to awesome podcasts or follow good Bloggers and vloggers
19. Read more books, buy borrow start a club and follow authors
20. Write your thoughts, even if you think they super corny.
21. Practice kindness, start with yourself
22. Arrange more dates for you and people you want to build, strengthen relationships with i.e. family, friend & partner
23. Say “I Love You” to important people in your life all
24. Hug and kiss your kids as often as possible
25. Eat more healthy stuff
26. Eat less meat. Eat more fish.
27. Forgive more and let go of what you cannot control
28. Smile more.
29. When you feel that panic rising, breathe slowly.
30. Dress up and show up
31. Even if the boobs situation have gone on a perpetual downward dog position. And your Mummy Tummy is so busy getting jiggly with it. It’s OK
32. Save more and work on your financial freedom
33. Do something fun once and again crazy fun
34. Go to a nice car wash every after 2 months or so …it’s empowering somehow
35. Fall in love or fall in love with love find a way (romantic music, series or movie can help)
36. Get your children to learn how to cook at an early age. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself when you’re able to tell your 14 year old child to whip you something fancy now and again
37. When your teen child lovingly pesters you to let her join Instagram because she wants to showcase her artwork to her friends. Allow her, on the provision that you manage it and she will need to adhere to your ground rules otherwise, it will be deleted.
38. Your kids will grow up so fast. You won’t believe that your eldest Son who is 22 this year will be job hunting wanting to move out of home when only five seconds ago, he just started school…

39. Okay…. I am running out of lessons. So let’s focus on my words for 2018.

40. Simplify
41. Evolve
42. Love
43. Friendship

S-E-L-F <<<< see what I did there?? I am so clever. Or getting lazy lol.

Here’s to another 43 years of learning lessons. Shooooooo 86 years… looking forward to it.

When growing up is bliss!!!


Research suggests that 85% of us are naturally far kinder to others than we are to ourselves.

Many of us are actually quite hard on ourselves. We think we need to be this way in order to be motivated, to be our best, or perhaps because it’s what we believe we deserve.

There is a cost to this lack of self-kindness (stress, depression, anxiety, and a host of maladaptive and unhealthy coping strategies).

” David Spound’



The pressure teens feel to project an image of perfection via social media has given rise to a new trend. Should parents be worried?

Fake Instagram accounts, often referred to as “finstas” or “spam accounts,” have become the norm for many teens – but their reasoning for creating these is not a sinister as you think.

Teens use of social media is constantly shifting in new ways in response to social media platforms, the teen’s age and social context. Social media continues to be a significant aspect of adolescence, the right information and guidance will ensure that use is positive and healthy.

I have a 14 year old girl, I constantly try to have uncomfortable conversation with her and share general social context. She has Instagram account using a celebrity profile picture, I asked to follow her with her permission “innocence” to gain her trust I believe being honest with her, I will get the same back. I want to know why the account and understand her reasons to and a need for many followers.

She has more followers than me”

Now my job is to know more and guide her instead of telling her or trying too hard in getting her out of social media. I rather know which accounts she has than her having hidden accounts behind my back.

She is on Instagram only currently ☃️ and we follow each other. I have discovered a new term to negotiate with her. Staying away to from anything that is “Not age appropriate” we agreed on age restriction, anything with age restriction of 16 years and above she must make a conscious decision to respect herself, protect herself and choose to be a child and enjoy being a child.




As humans, when we cannot see the end or control the events, we immediately assume that something horrible, painful and tragic will befall us. Lack of vision and control are sure to trigger the drama response.

In other situations, when something we do not want nor like or have not planned for presents itself as a life experience, we reach out for the support and input of others. Unfortunately, we often lure them into our experience by embellishing the worst parts of the story and refusing to entertain anything other than what we believe is happening, can happen or will happen to cause more dramatic suffering

Written by Iyanla Read more


1. Paint her nails. Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.
2. Let her put on your makeup, even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be likeyou…then let her be herself.
3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want
to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She may be a homebody or a traveller. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet Mr. Right at age

4. Try to remember that you were her age once.

5. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.

From a mother with daughters and the one and only daughter to my mom.



Music, as they say, is the universal language, I like how every time I listen to music there are songs that easily speak for my heart, my mind, and soul. There were days I wouldn’t know how was I feeling, it will be difficult to answer a simple question like “how are you feeling?

It bothered me and then I started a habit of going through my feelings, I would search my heart and soul try to put into words how am feeling every moment I get a chance.

The common answers I would give when I am asked would be…I am fine, I am ok, I am just, I am so-so…even though I didn’t know how being just and so-so feels, I would use such words and the fact that it would bother me that what does ok mean to me, or just or fine worse so-so.

Then the amazing experience was one day when I tuned into the radio this song played and I liked it and like any other song it grew on me and became that favorite song. I started noticing that the song played coincidentally every time I get into my car, be it morning when I am traveling to work when switching on to the radio at work, afternoon when I left the office. I took a take note of this song first and I would Shazamed it and read the lyrics, The song never left me it became that song that I start my day with and end the day with.

The song met me, force me to notice and feel, I engaged with it as it played, started having fun with and one day I understood that it explained how I felt and how I am.

‘We became the Song and me”

I found love for me
Darling just dive right in
And follow my lead
Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet
I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slowly, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes, you’re holding mine
Baby, I’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight
Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I’ll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
We are still kids, but we’re so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we’ll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I’ll be your man
I see my future in your eyes
Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don’t deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight
Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect
I don’t deserve this
You look perfect tonight
Ed Sheeran
“The Song and me”

The more I sang this song the more, I knew how I felt about myself how I have grown to be my newly found love, The song became my state of my mind and my state of being. I started waking up so much in love, I saw my perfect life partner in myself, my all the one person who completes me.

The love grew every day and I was able to easily respond to that one question, how are you feeling? Loved, beautiful, happy, perfect……

The Song helped me to realised that I found love for me, a girl beautiful and sweet, I never knew I was waiting for me and not knowing what it was that I was waiting for, longing for and looking for and it was just “SELF LOVE” and I found it and it’s PERFECT.