When you meet people, it gets so easy to immediately fall in to giving them yourself, servicing them and expect the same from them. I am using the term serving loosely in this case I am referring to instinctively performing duties or servicing another person, simple things like love, making time, offer help, offer advise the list is endless. This can be any type of a relationship.
It gets worse, when we talking a sexual relationship it doesn’t matter whether its a new relationship or marriage. I am going to generalise…, women tend to be the victims of giving themselves first to their partners, by living for others more than for self…. as much as this is not a bad thing, but when it gets to a point where this becomes a problem where, you forget about yourself and do not matter much more than others and you give everyone else everything and not your self. The twist….
…..we give other so much that we end up not existing as individuals first but exist for others and the lines get blurred as you never know what to do for yourself, I am not talking basics things like bathing, getting dressed, feed yourself etc lol… but more loving yourself, affording your self everything else, pamper, dine, afford your lifestyle designed by self and given, maintenance etc … Women do so much for others, and the personal struggle becomes more an issue when there is no one to do anything for, Or when the wish of being taken care of by others is foreign and non can do it quite like you.
When I discovered self without others, I found a different voice within me and started loving myself more and became more mindful of self and then take care of others without neglecting myself. That was empowering, I have become even better for others, I am for them without expectations and they cannot fail me because they can only do themselves be themselves for me. The understanding of others became much better and the appreciation of people for being themselves because I can easily be myself….with ease is bliss!
Give everything to yourself first…it’s not selfish!